Ironically Lacking the X Factor

On September 21 of this year something terrible happened: another reality singing competition premiered that I found myself watching. In my defense, it was The X Factor and it brought Simon Cowell back to the US. Anyone who watched American Idol before Simon left knows that he is deliciously and cruelly honest (and sometimes he just likes to screw with people because he can), which made his coming back as a talent judge on X Factor so appealing. Both Idol and X are Fox network shows, though one is sponsored by Coke and AT&T and the other is sponsored by Pepsi and Verizon. They are both singing competition shows, and the formats are similar.

Both are groups of attention whores, but which is "better"?

On American Idol hopeful contestants attend castings around the country, auditioning in a private room with just them and the judges (no music track to sing to either). Those who make it through go to the second round ("Hollywood week") where they are given more challenges, such as another a capella audition and then group round where they must try to work together (this is usually where hilarity ensues because people are stupid). There is a final audition with instrumental music and then the final selection for the live shows is made. After this the formula changes slightly from year to year, but live voting cuts the top x number of people down to the top 12 and then the theme weeks begin, with one contestant getting voted off each week. Finally there is only one, usually the one person no one really wanted to win.

X Factor causes hopeful contestants to embarrass themselves in front of a live audience for their initial audition (which weeds out those who are too shy to do so before the process even begins). Those who make it through go through a similar hell week until they are divided into one of four categories (groups, over 30s, boys, and girls) and then they depart to their judge/mentor's house. This year Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls got the over 30s, Simon got the girls, Paula Abdul got the groups, and LA Reid got the boys. They then select four of their final eight to go to the live shows, then they are eliminated in a similar manner to Idol, except until the top 9 the bottom 2 had to sing for their lives and then the judges decided.

So that's how it works on paper, and X Factor seems to be a good thing. By making the judges the mentors as well it makes the contestants' successes and failures the mentors' successes and failures. Unfortunately, X Factor has managed to make the show entirely about the celebrity mentors. The contestants don't really select their own songs, or wardrobe, or anything. The mentor is responsible for everything unless the contestant makes the stand and says "no, it's my decision, bitch". X Factor also allows children who are 12 to audition (which is so incredibly stupid because they don't have the emotional maturity to deal with such a competition, and it will ruin their childhood), though it does allow for much older contestants to participate (such as the recently eliminate Leroy Bell who I've loved for years). The prize for X Factor is a mind-blowing $5 million dollars, which is about 5 times the average Idol prize. Unfortunately, the fact that they keep repeating the amount of the prize shows that most of the contestants are there for the money and not for the ability to become an artist, which means they will do anything for their mentor in order to win. The current musical landscape does not need another cookie-cutter pop star, but X Factor seems determined to give us one.

Regardless of all of my issues with the show, such as the fact that their host manages to be MORE annoying than Ryan Seacrest (I know, I know), it will always come back to the fact that the judges/mentors are worthless. They don't really give the contestant any valuable feedback they make all the decisions which turns the contestants into little more than ventriloquist dummies, and they spend all they time complementing and criticizing each other as opposed to the contestant's performance. Leroy Bell, who I mentioned before, was screwed over by Nicole Scherzinger who did not understand him one bit. Look at this performance on X Factor, and then compare it to this music video released a few years ago. It was like Scherzinger decided "this is what I want him to be, I don't care who he already is". The man is 60 years old and knows who he is, but was swayed by a pop princess into trying things that just didn't work and thus he was eliminated from the show.

There is another contestant, Drew, who is mentored by Simon and sings a song of the same tempo every week. She's only 14 and it's evident that she thinks Simon is a god. LA Reid says she needs to switch it up, which is true (remember Pia Toscano from Idol season 10 who was eliminated after fans got bored of her power ballads), but Simon says she's doing great. Either she's going to win and make the most boring record ever, or she's going to get eliminated because fans become lose interest in her Ingrid Michaelson-esque voice and realize she has no range.

I'm so far into this season that I can't stop watching, even though most of the contestants annoy the crap out of me (see Astro and Rachel Crow), but I highly doubt I will tune in next season. The current Idol judging panel is useless, but the format is infinitely better. It's infuriating to tune into a competition show and listen to a lot of useless conversation between already famous people. You can tell the contestants are getting fed up about it too because they are fighting back and telling the judges what they think during the critiques. Unfortunately, not everyone is saying good things. Most of them are just idiots.

1 star out of 5

(don't watch if you're not already)