Johnny Depp: The Cure for Cancer or the Harbinger of the Apocalypse?

Johnny Depp turns 49 next year. Seriously. I don't care if you're straight or gay, a man or a woman, you've got to admit he's a good-looking guy. He's a chameleon of an actor, which means that it's more than likely that at least one movie you love counts Depp among the cast. Depp has only been acting for 27 of his 48 years, but already has 55 titles to his name; and the man is only building up steam. It's therefore easy for his earlier credits to get overshadowed by releases of the past decade (Pirates of the Carribean, Alice in Wonderland, etc. are pretty loud and therefore understandably drown out early classics like the adorable Benny and Joon). I had heard of Don Juan DeMarco, but hadn't heard anything about it until I decided to watch it on Netflix Instant this past week. The cast is huge, including Marlon Brando as a psychiatrist of all people, Faye Dunaway as his loving wife and friend, and Johnny Depp as the "crazy" lead. It's a very funny movie, as well as a great love story and a poignant commentary on how reality can negatively affect one's life. Sometimes having unreality be contagious can be a good thing.

If you haven't watched the movie then do; it's fabulously acted and will leave you smiling. There's really not much to review. What I wanted to point out is this: Johnny Depp played Tom Hanson on 21 Jump Street (a big screen version of which is being filmed now, including a cameo from Depp) from when he was 23 to when he was 27. He didn't portray DeMarco until he was 31, but the character is supposed to be just barely 21. What amazes me is not that he's playing a character a good 10 years his junior, but that int his movie I feel like that's being generous with his age. He looks like a teenager still, which is crazy! How can a man in his 30's look that good? Here are my explanations: he's a vampire (which would explain his reclusiveness) that has found a way to protect himself from sunlight; he is a genetic freak that holds the cure for diseases and therefore needs to be locked away in a research facility to be studied, only to be released for filming movies; he is the T-1000; Johnny Depp is the devil here to tempt us with his good looks and dry humor.

These pictures were taken about 15 years apart. Scared yet?

I'm sure there are more reasons, but they are too terrifying to contemplate. The bottom line is this: don't make Johnny angry. I don't think we'd like him when he's angry.