How to ruin Red Riding Hood

When I first saw the preview for Red Riding Hood I was so excited. My excitement built to the point where I was punching my fellow movie-goer's arm (I think it was someone I know). And then I found out one terrible, horrible, movie-ruining piece of information: it was directed by the same woman who decided to ruin our lives with Twilight. I therefore decided she was not going to get my money and waited for Redbox. Other than that one fact it had everything going for it: the writer also wrote the Shawshank screenplay (meaning he worked on a great movie) and the Orphan screenplay (meaning he had the chops for scary); Gary Oldman and Amanda Seyfried, as well as BSG and SG-1 alums Michael Hogan and Mchael Shanks (respectively), are among the cast; it's a dark interpretation of a beloved fairytale (that's already pretty dark to begin with). I'm skipping the summary because everyone should know this story or can Google it easily.

I've enjoyed Amanda Seyfried since Mean Girls came out, but this movie is simply not her niche. She's a very modern looking actress with very modern speech patterns and mannerisms, and these traits do not fit well into a period piece (even if it is fantastical). She simply seems incapable of selling this sort of role, even if she's supposed to be a rebellious girls who doesn't really play by society's rules. Another actor who disappointed me in this movie was, surprisingly,  Gary Oldman. I absolutely love him as an actor, from Leon: The Professional to The Fifth Element to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to Batman Begins. He is easily one of the most versatile actors currently working, but this movie fails to utilize his range. I blame the script and/or director for this because Oldman's body of work proves that he's a better actor than this. I knew I would be annoyed by the two young male leads and they didn't disappoint (in this one aspect). They play the Twilight love story impeccably even though this is a different movie, which is incredibly annoying. The only truly good performances come from Julie Christie as Grandmother and Billy Burke as Cesaire. They are both dark and neither plays a major part in the love story. 

 "I do not look like Edward Cullen. . ."

". . . shut up."

The effects department also made a disappointing werewolf. This part is all based on personal preference, but I really enjoy when people do slight variations on were wolves. In Underworld they gave the werewolves cool powers and made their gait slightly different than prior werewolves. The Buffy team made a completely different werewolf (after the first episode featuring them). This movie had just a really big wolf, which fits in the original story, but this is a re-imagination. Therefore I feel not re-imagining the wolf is lazy, and furthermore prior werewolf lore as laid down by writers and filmmakers years and years ago established a werewolf as something other than a normal wolf. To put it simply: a wolf with opposable thumbs (i.e. werewolf) is way scarier than a really big wolf. Especially when that wolf has weaknesses like not being able to step on hallowed ground. That's just weak right there. Moral of this story: focus more on the man-eating evil satanic creature and less on the teenage love triangle. 

2 stars out of 5